Much has been written recently about the value of compassionate leadership. The research studies keep piling up, the experts have spoken, and the management journals are full of its praises. And yet with all the evidence (and not to mention common sense), why is it that many of us still seem to work in organizations where our leaders feel cold, calculating, and far removed from our emotional reality?
Compassion is a funny thing. Ask a hundred different people what compassion means and you’ll probably get a hundred different answers. However, ask a hundred different people how they feel when they hear the word ‘compassion’ you’ll get a very clear spectrum of responses that fit somewhere between ‘anger’ and ‘isolation’ on the one extreme, and ‘love’ and ‘connectedness’ on the other. Compassion is an idea and a word that is easy to say and study, however it’s a lot harder to put into practice. The reason for this starts in the word itself.
What is compassion?
The root of the word compassion comes from Latin meaning ‘to suffer together’. For a word meant to express bringing people together, it has a place in our culture that is focused on suffering. In our workplaces, communities, and families, this often means complaining together. We share stories of suffering together, and in that sharing we recognize that we are all human. While recognizing what we have in common as humans is a good thing, the focus on suffering and negativity is unfortunately not.
Compassionate leadership starts with re-defining the word ‘compassion’ to be ‘com-passion’, or literally ‘shared passion’. And this is the next step that makes being a compassionate leader a great personal challenge. Many of us (often for cultural reasons) have learned that life is about suffering, being in service to others, and putting our own desires and needs on a level that is lower than that of others. While a life of service is an admirable thing, the focus on lowering our own desires and passions below others is absolutely not.
The importance of passion
Your own personal passion – what ignites your life, is the essential drive and fire that defines who you are. In everything you do, being connected with your own personal passions is what gives you drive, determination, joy, and fulfillment. And in the context of compassion, it is the first half of what compassion is all about it. You cannot be compassionate if you yourself are not passionate about what you are doing. Without your own passion your words, deeds, and thoughts are empty.
The second half of compassion is of course the passion of others. Being passionate together – ‘com-passion’, means recognizing the passions of others. As enthusiastic and driven as you are about what brings you to life, it is important to be aware that everyone else has passions that are just as unique, personal, and important as yours. Being a compassionate leader starts with asking what the ‘why’ is that drives your colleagues, your customers, and everyone else that shares your organization’s ecosystem. Only when the ‘why’ is clear, can passions be shared.
The compassionate leader
Being a compassionate leader in a compassionate organization means making both the awareness and importance of personal passion an integral part of everything you do. This also means identifying the purpose and passion of your organization. As strange and as impersonal as it may seem to ascribe passions and purpose to an organization, it is the essential keystone of a compassionate organization. By having a clearly defined organizational purpose you provide the foundation for creating the reason why so many diverse people with so many different passions will choose to be compassionate together. It enables you, as a compassionate leader, to find the common ground on which you and everyone in your organization can share their passions together.
Compassion is not as easy you might imagine. It means looking inside first and asking yourself if you are following your passions in your life. Is your work, your organization, and your personal life a reflection of your passion, or is it a reflection of deference to the cultural fetish that we have towards suffering? If the answer is the latter, don’t despair: you’re not alone. These words are an invitation to listen to your passions, and share them compassionately with others. A better world is waiting to appear through your compassionate leadership.