I was sad to read this morning about the firing of Kathy Griffin from her role as co-host of CNN’s New Year’s Eve program. Regardless of whether or not you saw the humour in her Donald Trump ‘severed head’ joke, what’s sad about her firing is the culture of blame that it propagates. Kathy made a mistake, she apologized profusely, and yet there’s no turning back now for Kathy. 

Kathy’s been blamed for hurting the feelings of thousands of people, and it seems that these days ‘sorry’ just doesn’t cut it anymore. It’s a shame really. Wouldn’t you rather have a comedienne that has learned from her mistakes? Wouldn’t you rather have someone that is willing to say sorry?

Culture of Blame

It reminds me of the poor accountants from PWC that won’t ever be coming back to the Oscars because of their mishandling of the best picture award this year. Instead of learning from their mistakes and becoming an even more valuable part of the team at the Oscars, they got booted from the show and were shamed for their performance.

The behaviour shown by the leadership at CNN and PWC is the result of an extreme culture of blame that exists in the United States and elsewhere in the world. And the problem with this culture is that instead of breeding perfection, it creates a stagnant culture of fear. A culture that inhibits risk taking, and as a result a culture that slows down change and destroys trust.

Most of us have grown up in cultures that have been heavily influenced by religious dogmas and traditions. In these cultures fear is often the primary mechanism used to get people in line and to follow the rules. The fear of course is being blamed for hurting God’s sensitivities or those of his earthly representatives. Whether we are aware of it or not, blame is not a natural emotion but rather a result of cultural conditioning.

Embracing Mistakes

It’s time for another cultural imperative – one that is based on empathy, love, and trust. Instead of trying to create an illusion of perfection by shaming out the mistakes, we need to make room for emotions. If we don’t create room for empathy, what kind of world will we create? What kind of relationships will we have, businesses, politics, and societies? We’ll end up in a world of tit-for-tat retaliation – the blame game. We’ll create an atmosphere of constant fear, aggression, and mistrust.

In a culture that embraces mistakes we create room for growth, learning, and the strengthening of bonds between individuals. In a culture that embraces mistakes we make room and create opportunity for people to learn about and understand each other. In a culture that embraces mistakes we create room for expression, exploration, self-reflection, and innovation. In a culture that embraces mistakes we create room to be ourselves, and for others to do the same.

So the next time someone steps on your toes: be angry, be clear, and be forgiving. We need each other, remember?